


Nailed It

by missdibley



Series: The Red Nose Diaries [17]
Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: E-mail, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Love, SSIFF, San Sebastian International Film Festival, The Night Manager - Freeform, email, love letter, tom hiddleston - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 02:28:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4859612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missdibley/pseuds/missdibley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I wondered for a second why you’d send this to me. Why the words of somebody else and not your own? I know you love me, and you’ve told me and demonstrated to me in numerous ways. Is it overwhelming to think about and put into words? I contend that you are a better writer than me.  It isn’t hard to say. Let me show you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nailed It

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [festival season](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4857914) by [missdibley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/missdibley/pseuds/missdibley). 



> I worry that I went overboard but it’s just what came out. I like to think this is sort of my love letter to the fandom as a whole.

From: Carmen D [redacted]  
To: Tom H. [redacted]  
subject: the internet’s boyfriend

baby -

can i send you something

* * *

From: Tom H [redacted]  
To: Carmen D [redacted]  
subject: re: the internet’s boyfriend

yes but that subject…

* * *

From: Carmen D [redacted]  
To: Tom H. [redacted]  
subject: re: re: the internet’s boyfriend

love:

This is a nice thing, I swear: <http://quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks.tumblr.com/post/129689236351/awww>.

If you can’t read the link or are afraid of Tumblr (which I understand but I swear it’s worth it just for the pictures of corgis), it’s just a nice comment about you on Jezebel. I thought you should read it because, well, it’s true. And I thought I should send you at least one nice thing in the stream of barrage of texts you’ve been getting.

> _Hands, thighs, cheekbones, shoulders… He’s 6’ 2” and has a very nice body if you like muscular-but-lean rather than bulky, which I do._

But what about your nose, which I love so much? I do miss your hands, though. If only because I’ve got this ache in my upper back that’s been bothering me.

> _And he’s charming, thoughtful, intelligent and polite._

Nailed it.

> _He looks very different depending on the picture/movie but he’s always got tremendous charisma. In person he’s incredibly handsome, as film stars tend to be._

Nailed it again.

> _He’s nice to his fans. He’s nice to interviewers. He’s nice to the crew on his movies. He’s nice to everyone. He has a great sense of humour. He’s a truly gifted actor._

The most important thing to me. Well, apart from you being awesome in bed. #justkidding

> _And when people start wondering ‘what’s the deal with this Hiddleston person anyway?’ they are generally on the slippery slope to full obsession so be warned, you wonder at your own risk._

I know the obsession bit is scary. It scares me sometimes. But I know you’ve got me. And I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.

I don’t wonder about “this Hiddleston person”. Because I know.

> _I just thought he had a nice smile and now my computer is full of stupid handsome pictures and gifs. Have a look at the Nerd HQ interview he did at ComicCon in 2013._

Confession: I haven’t watched this. Does that make me a bad girlfriend? Don’t answer that.

> _There are some potentially awkward moments with very emotional questions from the crowd but **he makes everyone in the audience feel special, worthy and his equal**  rather than going on an ego trip._

Emphasis mine. My favorite bit.

I should probably watch that interview, huh?

love you. miss you.

your Button

* * *

From: Tom H [redacted]  
To: Carmen D [redacted]  
subject: re: re: re: the internet’s boyfriend

Button,

I apologize for the delay in my response. Luke (Windsor, not Evans, and no, you are not getting Luke Evans for Christmas no matter how much you beg although I love it when you do) has this schedule for me, which is, as you say, “jam-packed”. I haven’t been able to steal a moment until after the last interview, the last press conference, the last Q&A, the last rope line with the lovely people who are kind enough to wait for hours to support the work, its remarkable cast and crew.

I know that includes me. And I am having a wonderful time.

But it doesn’t take the place of you.

I wondered for a second why you’d send this to me. Why the words of somebody else and not your own? I know you love me, and you’ve told me and demonstrated to me in numerous ways. Is it overwhelming to think about and put into words? I contend that you are a better writer than me.  It isn’t hard to say. Let me show you:

Hair, hips, smile, shoulders… she’s 5’6”, and has a lovely plush body, if you like a sort of Renaissance figure, which I do. She is charming, intelligent, polite, and funny. So fucking funny. She looks like a minx one second, a sweetheart the next. Her charisma is undeniable. In person, she is adorable, as women of character and humor and intelligence tend to be. She’s nice to everyone. Better than that, she is real with everyone. She’s real with me. She has a gift with people. When we first met I wondered what was the deal with this DiGregorio person. Why did she seem to see right through me, know me so well, and not turn away? Why did she yell at me and talk to me and then allow me to woo her, to know her, to love her? The slippery slope I found myself, the non-sovereignty I felt myself succumbing to… why didn’t I fight it? She wasn’t in the cards, not in the plans. But then, she is happy to remind me, of something I once said: “I try not to make plans. God always laughs at your plans. I’m going to keep the door open, and keep the page blank, and see what gets painted upon it.” The risk in wondering about her was rewarded with the gift of knowing her, and the privilege of loving her. And now my phone and my home and my heart is full of her. I found a video of her giving a toast at her best friend’s wedding a few years ago (remember? you tweeted a link to it on your friend’s anniversary) and the emotion and love in her words made me feel special and worthy and equal to the love she has given me and continues to give. I feel her. I love her. I miss her.

your Tom

**Author's Note:**

> If you could tell me exactly how many tears you shed while reading this, I'd be glad to know.


End file.
